Before I Leave

Let me first start off by saying that I think blogs are dumb. But here I am, writing a blog. It seems natural as a writer to have a section of my website devoted to transitory ramblings and momentary thoughts. Here goes... 

It’s 2am… and what better time is there for the first blog entry on this newly redesigned website of mine. In ten hours I’ll be on a flight to Iceland, where I’ll be starting a two month sojourn through Europe. The excitement you think I must be felling is present but has been overshadowed by trepidation. I know I’m going to have the time of my life hopping around aimlessly on a continent half way across the Earth. But it’s the idea that the next two months of my life are completely open is what seems to have given me pause. As of right now, I have no job, no girlfriend, no obligations and no direction… except east. 

What I do have, is a loose plan, a backpack and a notebook with empty pages. I start my journey in Iceland, a place where summer sunlight stretches on into a twilight that melts into the tomorrow. I’ll be there at a time where the northern lights will not be visible - and more’s the pity, for witnessing the Aurora Borealis has been on my bucket list for some time. 

After only a few days in Iceland, I jump over to the Emerald Isle, where I’ll be meeting with some of my dearest friends in all the world. I plan to make camp in Dublin for a few weeks and slow myself down, letting the temperament of the city and people take over. I want to dig deep into the history and culture of Ireland and have plans of finding a new screen story to tell… if inspiration hits. 

The past few months found me in the depths of depression, writing a movie about death, revenge, projections of love and the search for purpose in an unkind world…. I know… so melodramatic! But hey, it was a good story and one that I needed to tell. Now my mind is free again. Free to wonder, to dream, to ponder the great mysteries of life, to engage in complex thought, thoughts that will inevitably be destroyed by all the alcohol I’ll be consuming at the pubs! 

The next leg of my trip will be in Romania. A country that I know very little about. Except that it’s full of castles, mountains, intense roads and beautiful women.  All of which I look forward to seeing. 

That’s only the first month of my trip. After that, I got nothing. Not even a loose plan. Maybe Budapest? Denmark? London? I don't know!

I don’t even know what I’m looking for with this trip, just that I’m looking. The past five years of my life have been pretty tumultuous. I witness the slow death that cancer bestowed on my mother, then was punched in the gut three years later with the sudden death of my father and when all was lost to me but darkness and dread, my brother and his wife had to go and have a beautiful set of twins to make me realize that there is some good in this world. 

A general feeling of being untethered has consumed me. Though I've been stationary in Los Angeles, I still feel adrift. So I guess it's only natural that I take that feeling out of my mind and make it my physical life. What better way to confront your fears than to just live in them? 

Ahh fuck... I went and got all dark. Dammit! Sorry. It’s a byproduct of a broken heart and dead parents. I promise I’ll try to be more fun with this blog. That’s what this trip is for. FUN! I know once I touch down in Iceland I’ll be having the time of my life. And you will be able to read all about it on this blog.* 

Well I’m off to bed. I’ve put off sleep long enough. 

Cheers! 

 

 

* I don't actually expect anyone to read this blog.